I've said many goodbyes, the strange part is each one gets easier and easier. Perhaps because with each farewell the reality of the situation sets in more and more. Although, i assume the last goodbyes (my immediate family) won't follow this same trend Im not looking forward to having to saying goodbye. Luckily a mission is temporary and blessings will be sent their way!
It was though, rather hard to say goodbye to my grandmothers because they are both fairly old. One said to me "I'm going to tell you what I told the others, a year and a half is a long time and there is a chance that I won't be here when you get back. I'm not planning on not being here, but you never know. I'm sorry to bring it up, but i want you to know that if that's the case I am happy and with your grandfather." It wasn't a morbid or negative conversation, just a a realistic, loving one. I'm grateful she took the time and had the courage to say those things to me. It was what I needed to hear. She silenced my fear that I would not get to give her a proper goodbye if she was to die while I am on my mission (I didn't quite know how to tactfully bring it up...). I told her she was a great woman, my friend, and that I loved her, but they all felt like empty inadequate words to truly express to her how wonderful of a person she is and how proud I am she is my grandmother. I hope the hug conveyed what I couldn't say.
I am not sad to go. Yes, it will be hard living away form my loved ones with very little interaction (we can call home on christmas and mother's day) but my resolve thickens as I acknowledge the love I have for my family. Why? Because I have the potential Ito help increase the love and future happiness of other families. Families are forever! What a great thing. I will leave mine for a season to give others endless years with theirs.
I am overwhelmed by the love and support I have received. Not everyone is so fortunate. Sometimes life can seem lonely, but at my farewell I looked around and saw how full my life is and how many people are in it who support and love me. Love is a powerful thing, and one person can influence a life forever. Many people have shaped who I am today. Particularly my righteous parents, and dedicated youth leaders growing up. There is so much good inside every person. It will be refreshing to try daily to look at strangers as God sees them: as infinitely valuable sons and daughters. As being who can grow to become even as he is!
C.S. Lewis can always say it better-
“There are no ordinary people. You have never talked to a mere mortal. Nations, cultures, arts, civilizations - these are mortal, and their life is to ours as the life of a gnat. But it is immortals whom we joke with, work with, marry, snub and exploit - immortal horrors or everlasting splendors. This does not mean that we are to be perpetually solemn. We must play. But our merriment must be of that kind (and it is, in fact, the merriest kind) which exists between people who have, from the outset, taken each other seriously - no flippancy, no superiority, no presumption.”
So like the onset of any journey, I daydream about it's possibilities. Until my vert own analogy reminds me it shouldn't matter whats under the tree; in the end it's all about Christ. So for the next 18 months I will do his work accepting whatever the out outcome. Because God's will will be done.
Mormon 8:22
"For the eternal purposes of the Lord shall roll on, until all his promises shall be fulfilled."
Mormon 8:22
"For the eternal purposes of the Lord shall roll on, until all his promises shall be fulfilled."
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