Tuesday, March 4, 2014

Should I Stay or Should I Go?

Well, I get to stay in my area! 
We got the transfer call this morning. So I will be staying in Ventura and training another new missionary. 
I have thoroughly enjoyed serving with her and am sad to see her go! we have seen many miracles together, she is close to the spirit and she likes to brag about me, to me, so that's always nice to hear ;)
I have seen a transformation in her. Her growth in astounding. Seeing a 19 year old girl take on the aura and power of Christ is quite a sight. she has taught me a lot. how to truly find joy while serving, how to stay positive, to turn to the lord first. She is a strong wonderful missionary.
We have an investigator with a baptismal date! Her name in Danni she is 16 and dating one of the boys in the ward. She’s been coming to church for 3 months and when we got here we assumed she didn’t want to take lessons because she wasn’t taking them at the time, "surely the missionaries must have asked her already, I don't want to be pushy"  those are things that held us back for a bit, but we persisted and met with her she wanted to take the lessons, we have only have to with her so far but they have been very good. Her date is set for March 1.
we were trying to get Jessie (an elder lady to church) and we finally got permission from the care center, but the ward members felt that it was too risky and too much liability to bring her. She does dialysis and is on fluid restrictions and if anything happened to her while at church it could be very bad for her health. she has so much vigor and determination and she really wants to go. it was hard to cancel our plans for taking her, but we know it was in her best interest and a loving ward member explained it to us. 
Sister draney and I had fasted that day and wow. fasting on the mission is amazing. there really isn’t anything like it. like you know the difference between regular Sundays and fast Sundays, well now as a missionary think of every day feeling like a fast Sunday and then up that for when you actually are fasting. I am just so thankful for the companionship of the holy ghost. without it this work would not be possible or go anywhere.
We fasted to have extra help with a lesson for a semi-active father in the ward. He is going through some hard stuff, we meet with his family and so we decided we needed to meet with him before transfers. It was amazing how many of my past struggles were able to help him and address his needs. As I opened up to him and told him my whole story and the power of Jesus Christ in saving me from misery, his eyes livened up. He realized her was not alone. We emphasized scripture study. A man who before was always so vacant and "not there" was there. he shook our hands and though it was a brief moment of eye contact his eyes said so much. we could have told him all the things he wasn’t doing, the things he should be doing, but instead god wanted us to show him compassion, encourage him and left him, "you have faith in me," he said as he smiled. "We do, but not as much as the faith your father in heaven has in you. He believes in you so much he let his son come down and die for you, because he wants you. he knows you can do it. "
this week we had another less active lesson with Brenda. she is going to a Baptist church but doesn't feel the spirit there. she says she’s praying for answers of what to do. We brought an amazing member to the lesson with us (sis mchenry who fun fact was trained to sing by a romanian opera singer). sis mcherny pointed out that sometimes no answer IS THE ANSWER. the spirit, thought a comforter will also warn of wrong paths. When the spirit is absent it can be logically concluded that something must change in order to get it back. I have had that unsettling feeling in my stomach that tells me the decision I’m about to make (or made) is the wrong one. For instance, the summer before going on my mission I almost signed a contract to live in south Provo. It felt sooooo wrong. it wasn’t inherently a sin or a bad thing. but it was wrong for me. god had other plans. luckily I followed the spirit and I found another apartment in my same singles ward. There bishop Zachrison helped me in my journey to prepare to go on a mission. He gave me advice I will use for the rest of my life. and I often tell those I teach about an insight he taught me that changed my life. 
He told me that to find rest in Christ like Matthew 11:28-30 says we must "learn of him" as we read the scriptures he will show us what to do and take away our pain. So that’s what I did I read. I read when I was frustrated. I read when I was sad. I read in despair and I learned. I came close to my savior. I WANTED to do things the lord’s way, and as I aligned my will to his, he took my pain away. 
I tell this to people all the time. He can do that same thing for you! but you need to exercise faith, or even simply hope, just read the book of mormon with the desire for god to help you and he will, because as we step closer to him he steps closer to us. 
In first nephi he quotes Isaiah. paraphrased he says Zion may say, "God, where are you? why do you forsake us" but God will show them he hath not forsaken them. He relates it to a mother. can a mother forget her sucking child? a good mother no. but some might. in response the lord says
1 Nephi 21:15-16
Yes, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee, O house of Israel. behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands."

this I know to be true. God does not forget us. he is aware of us, and he will lead and guide us in our lives if we let him. And when we do, miracles occur. Because god works miracles according to our faith. So act and trust in him, for he is mighty to save. 

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